Just how friendly and supportive is the community on Facebook?
Simone Back, 42 years old, had over 1,000 friends on Facebook. On Christmas Day she committed suicide, after posting her intentions on her Facebook page, which resulted in no one rallying to her aid. Her last posting was…
"Took all my pills be dead soon bye bye everyone."
17 hours after that posting, Simone was found dead at her home.
Some friends from out of town asked for Simone’s address or phone number to get help, but those close, some within walking distance, did nothing. Others even responded angrily, calling it a “choice” or calling Back a “liar”.
Mental Health support charities described the incident as extremely sad.
Graham Bell, from the Brighton and Hove Depression Alliance, said: "This is a very sad reflection on our community. People need to be friends in the real world as well as in the online world."
That statement is key, I believe. Regardless of how many “friends” you’ve built up in an online community, that doesn’t mean you have a personal relationship with them. How many times have I heard someone say “I met him online”, to which I respond, “Have you met him in person?“…”Well, no just online. I met him online.”
Then you didn’t meet him. To meet someone is to be in the same place physically with them, to be able to touch them, see their body language, etc. There is no “other way” to meet someone.
There is definitely an inability among people now to be able to communicate. By communicating I don’t mean posting words on a device that others respond to. I mean face to face communication. It’s rare that I can even get a phone call going with someone but a text is something virtually everyone I know now will immediately read and respond to, even in the midst of a face to face conversation.
I’ve been thrown recently by the attention of those who are reacting to others in the real world, rather than the digital world of online chat or texting. I’ve had a couple of people say something to me and then literally walk away from me as I was responding. Our brains are literally getting re-programmed (in a very short period of time) to not recognize human communication. A text, though, well a text gets answered every time.
All those spending so much of their daily lives texting would probably say they’re more connected to the world. Strange definition of connected. What they’re really saying is that they prefer relationships with people they don’t have to see. That’s a step down from a real relationship, not a step up.
It also naturally carries less weight, which is one reason Simone didn’t get help. Even as everyone exalts the integrity and profound connection of online chat and texting, deep down we all realize it’s not the real world. After all, it’s fairly easy to respond to someone when you can’t see them rolling their eyes or watch as their eyes lose interest in what you’re talking about. No one is really reaching out to those 1,000 friends like Simone was trying to do. Now it‘s all about people sharing pictures of the lunch burritos or having 17 very lonely people respond to a very simple statement…”I burned the toast“.
