My Final Coming Out
Leon Velasco
I had a wild teen life. I was doing both guys and girls but I knew deep inside that being with guys was more stimulating than being with girls. In my long stretch of sexual activity in search of which side to finally make my decision of which side of the fence was more to my liking; I had told certain family members that I was thinking that I was preferring guys over girls. I was told many times, “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”; little did they know that it only made my decision that much more difficult to make. At age 19, I had become a parent to my daughter, I played the hetero dad (forced by society’s and family’s view of norm). A couple of years later while still in the sexual strive for determining and acceptance, I had become a father to a son. Things between females and I were just NOT in my future as far as sexual and love partner. I decided to finally come out and lock the door behind me for good; then throw the key as far as my arm can throw it.
In April, 1997 There was a television series that was going to make television history for all past, present, and future LGBT person to come out and be proud of who we are. This was one tidal wave I wanted to ride and not let anyone or anything deprive me of my final self-discovery. I had determined to have my mom and grandmother sit in front of the TV with me and watch a TV show that would have a VERY important message.
I had made dinner early that evening for the both of them so we can just sit and chill until my “BIG MESSAGE” TV show came on. The evening of April 30, 1997 was to be the most life changing time for me. Then it became time for The Ellen Show the; ALL important, “Puppy Episode” was starting. I had the jitters all up until the starting theme song. As we sat there quietly watching; I had many thoughts of backing out and living in the closet. Then I questioned myself; “Do I REALLY want to live a life of lies and ruin other people’s lives in the process from all my deception?” Then IT came, the very scene I wanted my mom and grandmother to see. Ellen and her friend in the airport lobby. I told mom and grandma to listen up, as I put up the volume to the TV. “I’m gay” seemed to take a long time echoing in my head. When it was on a commercial my grandma asked me, “What was I supposed to see?” My mom got up very upset and angry all rolled into one and replied, (in Spanish) “Don’t you get it? He’s a Homo!” and she stormed out the room.
It’s been several years, several drag performances, and several boyfriends later; I am still OUT of the closet. I kept my promise to myself to never return, look back or regret. My family has now come to grips with my sexuality and at times even ask; “Now that you have a grandchild are you Grandpa or Grandma?” My only reply is, “It depends if I’m in Drag, or not.”
June is national Pride Month…Submit your coming out story to Chris Jarvis at [email protected]
