Mz. Pink,
So here’s the thing, me and my girl have been together for three and a half beautiful, wonderful years. We have had our ups and downs but I have cherished every moment with her. When we first got together, she had a dog that was real timid.
I never understood why the dog would cower even when I just wanted to pet him. Well eight months ago we got a new puppy and besides the normal reprimands on the dog /or training purposes I have noticed that she has been way heavier handed than I would care for. It seems that she goes beyond whipping the dog when she has an accident. She is very hateful when the puppy jumps up on her, and the puppy is starting to change so I feel something isn’t right.
When I try to talk to her she gets very defensive and says things like, “I don’t beat my dogs” etc. My girlfriend isn’t violent, but I see a mood change when she gets angry with our pets. I work outside of the home and she works at home, so I don’t know what goes on when I am away. I am worried and scared so much that this could be a deal breaker between us. If she is abusing our pets I will leave her.
How do I find out that this is what she is doing and how can I fix it?
I Love My Dogs
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Hello Love My Dogs,
This is a very serious accusation, saying that your girlfriend is abusing your animals. In some places it is a felony to beat and abuse animals. I can see how this would be a deal breaker. I am very saddened, too, that this might be going on. There are a few things that can be done to correct the situation.
First, try to talk to her again. Tell her what you see her doing and how the dogs have changed since she has been “training” them. If she is still defensive, then you could ask her to sit with you and look up cases where animals have been abused by their owners and watch for any signs.
If communication isn’t working and you still see signs that the dogs are getting abused, stop by for lunch. Don’t tell her you’re coming home and surprise her. See if the dogs are left outside unattended for a period of time. Or walk in the house quietly and listen for her to see if she is yelling at the dogs or worse hitting them.
You could also get a nanny cam and place that in the house where she spends a lot of time then watch the videos. This would be useful if you needed evidence after you call her out on it.
If you find that she is abusing the dogs, you can take legal action. Get the Humane Society and police involved. File a report and keep all of the evidence against her for any kind of legal action which may need to occur or will occur due to the charges.
If that is too extreme you can call her out and tell her if she doesn’t change you will leave her and press charges. See if that makes a difference. If you have family or friends who want the dogs for awhile see if they would watch them and during this time you and your girlfriend may need to communicate some hidden issues you didn’t know existed.
Again, if you find out that she is hurting your animals, she will need psychological help — period. Anyone who can or would hurt an animal that does nothing but love and trust is a sick person. So regardless of how happy she has made you, I feel if she does have the ability to harm living beings, she also could have it in her to harm you or any family you two may start.
It sucks that your wonderful relationship may turn into this, but I guess it’s better to find our sooner rather than later or to find out when she starts hitting you or when one of your dogs has been injured or killed.
I also applaud you for not wanting to be a part of this and knowing how her hurting your animals makes you feel. Stick by your beliefs and do not ever think it is OK for an animal to get abused — no matter what she might say or any excuse she might give to you.
Good luck!
Mz. Pink
