"Beyond Monogamy (Lessons From Long Term Male Couples in Non-Monogamous Relationships)" is a new study published in February of this year. The study was conducted by a same sex male couple, Blake Spears and Lanz Lowen, who’ve been in a non-monogamous relationship for the past 35 years. They decided to conduct the study of 86 male couples because of the lack of information available about the issue. While there are many claims as to the percentage of same sex male couples who are involved in some form of non-monogamous relationship (some say 50%, some higher) the couple found no available "road map" for couples who choose this form of relationship.
According to the authors, “Most research shows that approximately two-thirds of long-term male couples who have been together for five years or more are honestly non-monogamous,” and that “Multiple studies have found no differences in relationship quality or satisfaction between samples of sexually exclusive and non-exclusive male couples.”
One of the surprising finds in the study was the maintenance level required for non-monogamous relationships. While it may seem that such an agreement would make things less defined and thus, easier, in an open relationship, the study suggests otherwise. Many couples referred to a long list of maintenance variables in such relationships, from adapting specific rules and boundaries, to consistent attention to the main couple’s personal well being, as in dealing with feelings of jealousy and resentment. So while it may at first appear that an open relationship takes all the pressure off, the study tends to suggest the opposite.
A disclaimer sits on the main page of the couple’s website, acknowledging the possibility of such a study being used by the Religious Right to illuminate the "dangers" of same sex marriage. An honest concern for anyone providing this kind of information, but irrelevant to those who are thinkers. The civil rights of marriage and the sexual practices of those involved are irrelevant to one another. Does that mean this sort of information couldn’t be successful for the other side? Of course not. Their side has succeeded so far by basing their entire premise on lies and mythology. Those tactics, however, should not prevent the dissemination of information of any kind.
Visit the website here: The Couples Study A copy of the study can be found here: The Couples Study pdf
